Friday, September 22, 2006

I Stole This Shirt

Well, not exactly, but I did steal this very cute and funny story from Liz, who stole it from elsewhere. Thanks Liz.

The Way It All Began

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot . And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.

She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever moving from his tent. But this success did arouse envy.

A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham's drum and was accused of insider trading. And the young man did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Siderites, or NERDS for short.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums, that no one noticed that the real riches were going to the drum maker, one Brother William of Gates, who bought up every drum company in the land. And indeed did insist on making drums that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And as Abraham looked out over the Ezekiel Bay, or as it came to be known "eBay" he said, "we need a name that reflects what we are," and Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO", said Abraham. And that is how it all began. It wasn't Al Gore after all. But, then again, we all knew that anyway.

How about some semi-recent news updates that are important, some interesting, some funny?

THE POOP ON THE SCOOP THAT KEEPS YOU IN THE LOOP

If you only read one or two, read this one about a real life "roaming gnome." It is hilarious.

And go to this one, too. It is pretty appalling. They love polarization and slander.

Village elders order trial by boiling oil. Just be glad you don't live near there.

Mad herds flood Tokyo restaurants for US beef. We knew they'd come running back to us.

Cheater-pants Hungarian Premier admits to lying about national finances to win election. He's belongs to the socialist party. I will say no more.

Cell phone traffic tracking may soon provide faster routes for drivers with GPS direction services on cell phones. Wouldn't that be sweet to those of us who live in overcrowded areas?

A shark recently discovered in the East Indies walks on its fins on the ocean floor. God has a sense of humor. Not to mention they discovered a shrimp that looks like a Praying Mantis. Cool, huh?

Jesus in beer foam. Some are outraged, others think it is an interesting concept. I think it is worth some real thought.

I would encourage you to read a story before you comment on anything I have commented concerning the story. You need context to understand my comment. I have tried hard to include more video stories, but these are all in print. They are really worth a look though.

Have a good weekend everybody.

Blessings,

Big J



"Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it." Fyodor Dostoevsky

3 Simply Marvelous Ideas:

Dean said...

Jesus in beer foam? Where will He pop up next? It could be argued back and forth whether it is good or bad. I think the church could really use this to emphasize that He is everywhere (not like the literal idea of the eucharist in the Catholic church)we go. No matter what we are involved in, He wants to be a part of our lives. God was in the bush, in pillar of fire and it says that all creation speaks of Him. I know that this argument could be taken down the road to include smoking some weed. However, in Donald Miller's book, "Blue Like Jazz", the author tells the story of a girl hearing the voice of God when she was lying on the floor high.

Looney Mom said...

I saw that walking shark. How silly! I don't know about Jesus in beer foam; what's up with that? Seriously; it's not like we really know what Jesus REALLY looked like. For all you know it's really Santa Claus.

The Flip Flop Mamma! said...

1st: The traveling Gnomey? Hilarious!! My hubby went to Lincoln Christian College (Lincoln Il)and some of his buddies stole the President of the school's door from his office. They went to St.Louis and took pictures with it by the arch, then On to a Cardnals game. They then put the door back, and later mailed him the pics!!!!

2nd: Jesus on beer foam? LOL! What a way to reach people!!! I'm not offended, and I doubt Jesus would be either.

3rd: Praying Mantis' are really ugly, and now there's a shrimp that looks like one? Poor shrimp.

4th: If your stat counter shows that I was on your site for a REALLY long time, it's not cuz I'm a crazy cyber-stalker...I got to chatting, and forgot to click off your page:)